Today I celebrate my first year as an ICU nurse. I cant believe I have come this far. I cant believe all that I have done, seen, experienced and been a part of. If you would have asked me a year ago where I would be now, I don't think I could have said here. I always knew I would be a critical care nurse. I have always, since the age of 7 or so, thought of myself as a healer and care giver. Just ask my mother...I even tried to help the mashed butterflies on my Dad's truck grill. Helping others has always been a part of my being. But, when I think back to nursing school, I distinctly remember saying, "I love nursing...but I will NEVER do three types of nursing. I will never be an OB/delivery nurse. I will never be a burn nurse. I will never take care of sick or hurt kids." One thing is true, I have not set foot in a delivery ward since second semester of junior year. As for the rest, well, I learned to never say never. I find myself now, at this moment, sitting in a room with an adorable 3 year old, who happens to be 40% burned. It has occurred to my recently that I have an incredible knack for getting myself into places I swore I would not go, and then realizing none too late that I am in way over my head...Its sink or swim. I am happy to report, I can swim. After a year I can, on most days, keep my head above water and get my things done. Its been a huge learning curve for me and most mornings, I go home mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. I have learned more than I can ever express in words, both about my career and about myself. I have redefined priorities and ethics. I have extended my beliefs and searched my soul. Perhaps that has been the greatest challenge of all...Perhaps I was always a good nurse, I just needed to become an ICU nurse to discover who I am as a person. Perhaps its what I said I would never do that led me to become who I really am...
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